Thursday 21 June 2007

Science gone NUTS!

On another episode of scientific discovery we study the dazzling breakthroughs of a bright team of scientists to be who call themselves, for some odd reason, A4. So we embark to see what amazing discoveries await. First off they begin the extremely hard task of 'coming up' with the idea of burning nuts for no apparent reason. When asked, they apparently got that idea from a superior life form they called rehcaeT! Surprise, surprise! Ensuing their studies, they made 'Wow no. 1'.

Wow no. 1: DO NOT poke a nut through the middle or it will fall of very soon.

This was almost as fantastic as the fact that we actually have common sense. This amazing inovation was discovered by sanoJ, rednivlA, nahtanoJ and noroD. All show very promising signs of one day unraveling the great mystery of common sense. Soon after, Wow no. 2 was 'remembered'.

Wow no. 2: DO NOT let your nut(s) fall during burning.

Things were going in well in A4's escapades until someone remembered that the divine diety, rehcaeT, warned of the reliability of nut(s) in regard to falling. No such wiser words. Heart-breaking moments like this have never before been recorded in history. The true horror of a nut(s) dropping is severe. Consultation to the supreme in command, rehcaeT, proved no other remedy than repeating the intricate process. That's when Wow no. 3 was dicovered.

Wow no. 3: DO NOT touch hot nut(s).

We have sanoJ to thank for this mind-boggling awakening in the delicate field of common sense (again)! The complete process repeated, the all powerful rehcaeT pleased, there was just on minor setback in our heroes' minds: Wow no. 4.

Wow no. 4: DO NOT cough nearby flaming nut(s).

Once again we thank sanoJ for this Wow. When researched, sanoJ appears to be in a rut of a social life and is held in complete awe of the number 7.

P.S. All 'sensitive' issues are recorded laterally inverted to 'protect' privacy. All pun intended.

Tuesday 22 May 2007

(pipe) Water is neutral!!!!

Yes! Surprisingly (pipe) water is neutral. How do (I) we know this? Well it's all due to the contributions of one man:

On May the 21st Mr. nosaJ gnoW decide to dedicate not his life's work, but at least his next one minute's work to find the pH value of water. So, on that sunny morning, in B.M.S. tS. hpesoJ's Chemistry lab, surrounded by fellow 'scientists-in-the-making', he began his experiments.

He carefully looked around to see if the rehcaeT was watching and turned on the tap. The welcome sound of water trickling through the short pipe trilled him strangely. He thanked Providence for it's generousness. If Providence had not put into being Mr. X, who, in turn, started the agabmeL riA gnihcuK, where would he, a lowly 'scientist-in-the-making' be? Thank Providence.

He carefully manoeuvred the red and blue coloured litmus papers toward the incredibly unsteady stream of hydrogen hydroxide, H2O, water. But Fate, Providence's evil half untervened. The rehcaeT turned his way! Luckily he managed to disguise his actions.

In a few heart-pounding minutes, the danger was past. Even 'scientists-in-the-making' have many hidden hazards to face! He resumed his 'investigations'. This time he succeeded ingetting the red litmus paper underneath the flow of water. He then extracted it and examined it minutely. but, to his horror, no change, no alteration could be seen! How could this be? Was not (pipe) water not not not neutral? Was it not not not not not slightly acidic?

After our 'valiant' hero recovered from his amazement and the jeering of his fellow 'scientists-to-be', he concluded, most sophisticatedly, that (pipe) water is neutral.

So ends today's adventures. Tune in next time for more adventures of Mr. nosaJ gnoW ieW haT. (I assure you there are more like the time he helped prove that "statistics are like bikinis" and even found out why. But that's a story for another day. And besides it's slightly rude and embarasing)

P.S. Names and other facts in this anecdote have been reversed to protect privacy. And this message is brought to you by the agabmeL riA gnihcuK and Microsoft Word.

Wednesday 9 May 2007

Something to say

Today while in total boredom of Physics for not being able to understand half of it. The thought of having nothing to say (or write) during the upcoming Chemistry test hit me hard.

"When you don't know what to say, you say...Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!"

Wordy, eh? This has long been my longest word until I discoved others like Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliomania (my title) and another one too long to remember relating to a type of lung cancer.

Anyone know of a better/longer word let me know.

Until then, Mary Poppins didn't have a dictionary.