Wednesday 5 November 2008

The MYSTY-X theorem...

Yes, without doubt the impending weight of immense strain, otherwise known in the "living" world as SPM, notwithstanding, a dead blogger, contrary to popular belief, has to keep up with making known his dead-ness, excluding that little detail that in doing so he violates the very basis of "deadblogger-ism". Posting barely a week before the SPM seems too much of a necessity brought about by the extreme need to release real or apparent stress in some form or the other. Hence, here I am, abandoning precious hours of studying to propagate my aberrant philosophies.

Ah yes, the MYSTY-X theorem - my latest scientific breakthrough that I may perhaps attribute to the over perusal of Biology textbooks. Understand me here; I have just happened upon the most brilliant and earth-shattering theory that has ever been put to consideration! It is one that I would assimilate closely to the first founding of the term in more use with the less fair sex than the other - PMS.

PMS; this little term I regard as one fantastic discovery. What else would you call something that seemingly solves all manner of discontinuities in the female temperament? It is truly a stroke of genius. Most unfortunately, it has given rise to the fairer sex of species having a truly unfair excuse to exercise all sorts of idiosyncrasies. To put it simply - I'm sure most guys would agree that it is extremely unfair for girls to have an excuse EVERY MONTH to behave in the most unsociable and unlikable manner. Oh yeah, just blame it all on the hormones girls.

Consequently, I have in my intense scrutiny of the subject we call Biology, come unexpectedly upon the mind-blowing revelation I now call the MYSTY-X theorem. The MYSTY-X theorem is the ultimate cure for the unfortunately misused PMS hypothesis. To say nothing of prevention being better than cure, fighting fire with fire is the case here. Basically, I have come up with MYSTY-X to give give my fellow members of a much "wo-manhandled" (pun intended) sex the ultimate excuse for all perfectly idiotic, eccentric, dumb, immature and hare-brained acts TOO. No more shall the female race be the only ones with an excuse for the failings we ALL share as human beings; we shall finally be equal!

Yet with all this discovery significantly overdue in coming to the aid of us the miserable sex, it has granted us a decided advantage of this "excuse" being at our disposal MORE than once a month. Unfortunately (or fortunately if you will guys), we are subject to this "male-version-of-PMS-ing" ALL THE TIME! And now, if you haven't already fallen asleep from the previous paragraphs, I will explain the MYSTY-X theorem. (dramatic music plays...)

The MYSTY-X theory is simple. If you observe the Malaysian syllabus for Biology in Form 5, you will come across the chapter on Genetics and Variation. A careful study of this will lead you to a little clause somewhere or other that clearly states (this is the IMPORTANT bit) that girls have 2 X chromosomes and guys have one X and ONE Y CHROMOSOME ... AND ... THE Y CHROMOSOME IS SHORTER than the X chromosome!!!!!!! Read on and you will find that that the Y chromosome also has LESS GENES than the X chromosome!

This is very enlightening - I shall enlighten you as to why. All those supposedly true allegations about girls being smarter and girls maturing faster and guys being less mature and girls being ... well ... overall better than guys - they are TRUE! All this can be explained by the deficiency of the Y chromosome as compared to the X chromosome. Since the X chromosome entails a slightly (though by no means negligible) added number of genes, it would be extremely logical to assume and confirm that girls are smarter, more mature, better ..... and so on. Accordingly, it can be assumed that guys are, by nature, less mature, less smart, and maybe even lacking in certain aspects of human rationality.

Hence, the MYSTY-X theory provides guys who, very naturally, get the urge to do or say something completely looney or unthinkable AN EXCUSE. Or course we behave like idiots, of course we appear dumber, of course we seem inferior, of course we tend to indulge ourselves in immature games - it's all because our Y chromosome is decidedly deficient. Males of the human race, no need to be ashamed, use this as an excuse, a tool absolving you from all responsibility over your actions - hold your head up and say "My Y chromosome's Shorter Than Your X chromosome" (MYSTY-X)!!!!

P.S. :-
Girls, any mistakes in this thesis is the result of My Y chromosome being Shorter Than Your X chromosome. Please forgive and pity my unfortunate genetic shortcomings. (sob...)

nihploD .forP

9 comments:

Perry Tan said...

Hail, the advent of a new era. The era of compliance to male idiocracies. Thanks for the excuse, better try it out soon.

Anonymous said...

HAHA. Ya la...weiz, you're only living with two ppl now who can use that excuse la...not so bad le...but blah...share your philosophies with the world. Lol...

Perry Tan said...

Anything can be an excuse if you know how to dress a lame joke up.

Anonymous said...

hmmm.... i agree... well, it does sound logical, but where do u come up with these stuffs? i mean, it's totally genius, but i'm amazed tat u can make such a ..... urm.... i would use the word profound, but then again, it's not really tat, but ohh well, nice "philosophy"

Anonymous said...

the fact that you have a lot of sisters definitely have in one way or another influenced you to produce this extreme and loop-sided philosophy of yours. gals SOMETIMES can be better at SOMETHING but not EVERYTHING, which means there are things that guys are better at (Y chromosome is indeed shorter, but not necessarily contain less GUD, BETTER, DOMINANT genes), like... whatever. the point is, gender, XY or XX, equal. (okay, Y still a lil bit better).

nihploD said...

Y has less, IQMAL; and less is bad. And .... girls seem to not be better at everything because ... YOU have an X chromosome too right. So theoretically the incidents where your X chromosomes kick in, you'll be on par with the finer sex.

A Budding Engineer said...

Dude, Iqmal here. Who has been using my name as their username. I didn't post anything on that day. I have a different username, by the way. Anyway, gud luck, have a safe trip, Merry Christmas and Happpy Holidays

ja said...

Ah... Interesting theory. Although - sorry - I would say that it's just another whole-hearted, but unfortunately also in vain, attempt to come out with an excuse for our (guys) increasing failures nowadays... =)

Yeah, girls might be overall smarter and more reasonable than guys, as you said, but that still doesn't give guys reason to act stupid at specific times... We cannot say that our Y chromosome it to be blamed when on other times we can be reasonable and rational while still having the same Y chromosome.. It's either AWAYS irrational or not at all (whereas PMS gives girls the freedom to be reasonable when they want to and not when they don't want to) and I don't think guys are ALWAYS stupid and ALWAYS irrational....are they? =P

Haha.. But i don't know... After all, I haven't even studied that yet..=)

nihploD said...

hmmm, ja finally comments and it's criticism. well, I forgive your shorter chormosome.

ummm, if you think guys aren't always (well, I wouldn't use stupid and irrational now but...) well, weird, then you should look around more often, eh? haha